Is Social Networking Becoming Too Personal or Not Personal Enough?

by Kent Pelz, Blog Contributor on January 25, 2010

in Social Networks

Facebook Video Post of Grand Children Building Sponge Bob Over Christmas 2009

During this past holiday season I had reason to ponder this question, based on several occurrences.

A friend posted on Facebook that he was getting a vasectomy, which one might say is “too much information.”  However, what made his post interesting is that his procedure was the same day one of the earthquakes hit here in Northern California.  His post went like this, “Wow, clipped and shaken all on the same day.”  I thought it was a clever way to share a very personal moment in his life.  I could picture the earthquake shaking the doctor’s hand at the very moment when…well, you get the picture.  On the other hand, I probably won’t post my next colonoscopy, unless there’s another earthquake at the same time!

The second situation came up when some close friends decided to send their annual holiday newsletter via email rather than snail mail.  I learned that some of the recipients felt it de-personalized the greeting.  Since my wife and I have long ago stopped sending a holiday newsletter at all, we appreciated hearing from these friends in any format.  By the way, I consider my Facebook profile a daily version of the once-a-year newsletter, so receiving a holiday newsletter via email was totally okay with me.

The question of “too personal” really came up for me when I obtained a Flip video camera and enthusiastically recorded numerous and perhaps trivial moments of my family’s holiday activities and posted them on Facebook.  A few friends responded positively but most said nothing.  Was I bragging too much?  I believe social networking is most effective when there is personal transparency and authenticity.  To me this means I should share my family life with my social network even if I also share my business opportunities with them, as well.   In my case, my wife and I conduct Successful Relationship workshops, so I think it’s fair for others to know that our family relates in a healthy way.

I realize I have a bias toward total disclosure, which may make some people uncomfortable.  On the other hand, I am in business for myself, offering people personal advice on many levels, so I think it’s important that people know who and what I am.  I reveal aspects of myself every day on my Internet postings, and I encourage others to do the same – especially if they are in business for themselves.

Kent Pelz

Founder, Self Marketing, a new thought business networking group and Enneagram workshop facilitator, Life of the Spirit.

Tagged as: authenticity, Facebook, Friendster, human behavior, Kent Pelz, MySpace, Social Networks, transparency

  • http://supremesocial.comandhttp://kickofftopic.com Karmen

    Great post Kent!
    We have to keep in mind that people use “social networks” to be social first, and if they can add the aspect of doing business in a more relaxed, conversational way, that is the benefit they gain.
    The level of transparency will differ from person to person, so I say: embrace it and take it all in the way it is intended to be given (shared), mostly for fun, humor and goodness of some sort.
    Looking forward to more!

  • http://www.buzzic.com Sebastien Lambercy

    Personal or not, that’s the question… Well I look at this problem in a pretty simple way: I organise myself on social media as I do it in real life which mean I love to be personal but only with persons I love or trust (which mean they know me in my lifestyle)… On the other hand I inform others about my activities and worklife which mean: I do lists of my connections and choose if I want to be personal or not and with who.
    So for me social media is like reality: Their are some stuff I say in public and some others not (don’t ask me what I won’t tell you I don’t know you :) ). It as two advantages: first I learn to know other better and second I can better reach their interests (it was hard to learn but now I know that my “so intersting life” is especially interestinc for me and my friends but not especially for anyone (who knows perhaps some days:)). Have a nice week end and congratulation at gather your crowd for your presentation @ Stanford! Seb

  • http://www.blissconnection.com Chrystal

    Thought provoking. I only know how to be one way and that is transparent. I know I may offend people on occasion on FB, but like George Carlin use to say – change the channel.

    I am challenged with the fact that I FB about my business and my personal life. But, that is the new paradigm, right. The two are not as separate as they use to be. Esp. not in Silicon Valley. I take my friend Ann Evanston’s advice and I am a PERSON first and a business second.

    Great blog!

  • http://www.gatheryourcrowd.com Carla Ivette Yashiro

    Perception and Tolerance are so relative. In my case, I tend to block all application/game related posts, I feel annoyed by Twitter style posts with a heavy use of hashtags and names (#, @), and I complete ignore loooooong posts. On the other hand, I enjoy philosophical quotes, positive affirmations, questions from friends on topics that I’m interested in, and commenting on friends pictures.

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